


hold your face away from light

by icarusandtheson



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-29 23:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20444237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusandtheson/pseuds/icarusandtheson
Summary: The king and his betrothed speak on their impending marriage while the rest of the castle sleeps.In which Alexander is no longer one of Washington's knights errant but the king of his mother's lands, and Washington stands between him and an ever-vicious court.





	hold your face away from light

Alex tugs the hood of his cloak down as the door swings open, and Washington regards him with tired, unsurprised eyes. If he says _ your grace _Alex is going to lose what little of his composure he has left and be every bit the tantrum-prone child his council believes him to be. 

“Did you come alone?” Washington asks. 

Alex arches a brow. “Concerned for the state of my reputation if I’m found here?”

“I’m concerned that you’re wandering the halls alone and unguarded,” Washington says, and somewhere in his flat voice is a little of Alex’s exasperated commander. Alex’s chest aches for it, and him, and then he smothers it into nothing.

“I haven’t forgotten how to move unseen,” Alex says dryly. “I was a knight, once.” 

“You are still,” Washington says, and then, “you’re shivering.”

“I’m not,” Alex says, though he might have been. “It’s always cold in this place. I expected hell to be warmer.” 

Washington hushes him and draws him inside, his palm cradling Alex’s elbow. “You know better.”

“What will they do?” Alex asks, lips peeling back from his teeth in something that might, in some poor light, be considered a grin. “Depose me for misliking my own castle?”

“Alexander,” Washington warns, and Alex tugs his arm free. He stalks to the hearth and tries to warm himself. He hears Washington moving behind him, the door closing, the sharp metallic sound as he sets down the dagger he had waiting in his left hand.

“Were you expecting to defend yourself?” Alex asks the flames. 

“Restless times make restless men.”

“You feel unsafe here.” The thought curdles something straight down to Alex’s core, though he couldn’t say why if pressed.

“I worry.”

There is nothing Alex can say to that, no comfort he can offer. Washington has been a knight and a man of war for as long as Alex has been alive, and the platitudes of a tenuously crowned king won’t ease his mind. He nods, and says nothing. 

For a time, there is only the crackling of the fire. Alex wants, a little, to sink down to the warm stone and pull his cloak around him. There are worse places to sleep than the ground by Washington’s fire; he learned that a long time ago. 

“Why did you come?” Washington asks, not unkindly, and remains unmoved when Alex slants him an irritated glance. “You agreed to the betrothal and then left the council without a word. I assumed you didn’t want to speak about it any further.” 

Alex scoffs. “Despite what you might think, I _ am _capable of discretion.” 

“Are you doing me the kindness of refusing my suit in private, then?”

Alex barks a laugh. “Your _ suit?” _ He turns fully, then, and faces the man he would have followed to the very edges of the Earth, once. “A little honesty, please. Whatever else there’s been between us, at the very least we’ve had that much.”

Washington frowns, and in the firelight the expression shadows his face strangely. It should be unfamiliar, would be if Alex hadn’t sat at a hundred firesides, a thousand, watching the planes of Washington’s face as the fire burned down to ash. 

“I don’t understand.”

Alex scowls. “You don’t want to marry me.” 

Washington says nothing, only tilts his head a little to the side. The firelight plays across his throat, warm and golden, and Alex’s throat goes tight. He realizes, belated, that Washington must have been readying himself for bed when Alex called on him. He’s dressed in nothing but a plain shirt and breeches, far from the usual formal wear Alex is familiar with, or the armor he remembers before that. 

He should look smaller, dressed so simply. Alex doesn’t understand why he doesn’t look smaller. 

“You hate this place,” Alex starts again. “You can’t intend to stay here for the rest of your life.”

Both of Washington’s brows raise in one smooth, imperious motion. “Where would you have me go?” he asks, the way he would a child playing at some strange fancy. 

“Back to your travels, or to your lands.”

Washington’s mouth quirks at the corner, though Alex can’t tell if it would be a smile or not, if allowed to grow. “Am I so old, that you would consign me to the countryside already?”

“I would understand if you wanted your home instead of blood and battle or the petty intrigues of court,” Alex snaps, temper rising.

“And if I’m happy where I am?”

“You’re _ not,” _Alex says. “You told me yourself when we traveled together that you had no taste for court, and I see the truth of it every moment you’re here. I can only imagine this is some misguided attempt at protecting me from marriage to an indifferent stranger, or from a court that cares little for me.”

“Misguided,” Washington repeats, and Alex can’t read his tone at all.

“You’ve been kind to me,” Alex says, trying to gentle his voice. “Beyond kind. There aren’t words for the risks you’ve taken for me, the sacrifices you’ve made, and I am -- I am _ grateful, _more than you can know, and I owe you more than I can ever hope to repay.” 

“You owe me nothing.”

“I owe you _ everything,” _Alex says, and if the words slide from his teeth in a hiss it is only out of desperation. Washington called him a martyr in the making, once, and Alex was so offended at the slight that it took him time to realize Washington spoke from experience, that he was every bit as inclined to sacrifice himself if he thought it necessary. 

Washington shakes his head, not listening, _ never _listening. “Alexander --”

“Go _ home,” _Alex says. “Marry Lady Custis, or some pretty farmer’s daughter, and raise up children of your own instead of minding some other man’s wayward bastard for the rest of your days.” 

Washington stills, and for one horrible moment, Alex thinks he’ll listen. It would be in line with most of the misfortune in Alex’s life if the only time Washington paid him mind was to leave him. Then, “I made my offer. You’re free to refuse it, if it displeases you, or to order me away if I’ve caused you some offense. Both are within your power.” 

Alex flinches at that, though Washington’s voice was even and calm as summer wind when he spoke. He draws his cloak tighter around himself and looks away. “These walls work a strange alchemy,” he mutters. “Bastards to kings, mentors to husbands.”

“Not so strange,” Washington says, soft footfalls sounding in the quiet of the room as he approaches. “We are as we always were.” 

Alex chokes on a small, wet sound, meant to be a laugh -- it isn’t, it isn’t anything like a laugh. “You bow to me now,” he says, quiet and bitter. “Nothing is as it was.” He keeps his eyes trained on the floor, the heat of the room stinging them, and swallows around a mouth that tastes of ash.

Washington is before him now, close enough to touch -- close enough that not touching requires effort. Washington’s hand comes up, slow and obvious, the way he’d go to stroke a beaten horse. Alex bows his head, and holds himself perfectly, perfectly still as Washington rests his hand on the crown of his head for a moment, for two, on and on and on until the weight of his palm, warm and cradling, is all Alex can feel. 

Washington’s breath and the crackling of the fire in his ears, and Alex could be anywhere. They could be anywhere, under the stars or in a tent, and Washington’s hand could be the only crown Alex has ever known.   


**Author's Note:**

> *Thanks for reading! Leave a kudos and comment if you liked it!  
*I'm on Tumblr at [icarusandtheson](https://icarusandtheson.tumblr.com/), come say hi!


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